Putting Code Together Since 1987

Posts Tagged ‘sex’

10 Reasons I Want To Sleep With My iPhone

In iPhone on March 12, 2008 at 1:03 pm

I’ve realised that I’ve stirred up something of an angst in slating the iPhone. I mean, I’m lucky enough to own one – I should be happy. The contract terms were clear enough if I’d read it properly, and maybe, according to some, I shouldn’t be making calls whilst driving – even if that is with a hands free kit.

But it’s still a great phone, and it and I are practically inseparable. So much so that it’s tempting to sleep with it under my pillow (what, you thought I meant sleeping with it that way?! Eugh, you disgust me!) so that mid-dream I can double check a fact on Wikipedia.

So here goes. I may run out before 10….

  1. I adore the UI. Apple are the first to bring true multi-touch to the mass market. MS are lagging here with their Surface coffee table – which you can’t carry anyway. It really is an intuitive interface.
  2. It just works. Well, for most things it does. I fired up the Windows Mobile machine for the first time in a while. Since then I’d reconfigured the Wi-Fi in the household. Could I get the damn thing to connect? Come on MS – these things should be simple!
  3. It’s gorgeous to look at. So gorgeous in fact that several people* have offered to sleep with me in order to look at it. This morning in fact. Either that or the cheap pig pheromone spray I bought is doing the trick.
  4. The screen is just right. Contrasty, sharp… it’s everything a screen should be.
  5. Browsing the Internets is wonderful. The best internet browser you’ve ever used on a portable device to date. I repeat… The Best. Forget Opera Mobile. Forget Minimo. Forget whatever heap of junk they wedged into your mobile phone… Safari on the iPhone rocks.
  6. It doesn’t play Flash. You may question my sanity, but for me it’s great – I can go to a potential client who may well be insisting on a Flash only website. The iPhone lets me demonstrate, with wonderfully simple clarity, why that would be A Bad Idea.
  7. It annoys Apple haters. Personally I’m pretty ambivalent about Apple. They do some cool stuff (iPhone, OSX) and some not so cool stuff (iPod Touch, Apple TV) and that’s just like a lot of companies. But I love anything that irritates fanboyz on either side of the fence. Get real guys – these are just big corporates fighting for your cash – don’t make it so easy by getting all fervently religious about it.
  8. I now carry a decent camera about. OK, I’m scraping the barrel a bit now, but because I won’t carry two phones, when I moved from the N95 to the iPhone I lost a 5MP camera and rather wonderful video facility. However, the N95 still can’t hold a candle to a cheap Canon compact. Ultimately, good compact cameras rock far more than any mobile phone. Mobile phones have led to a deterioration in good photography. Let’s fight back for decent cameras!
  9. iTunes isn’t actually that bad. I’d avoided it for years, but now got forced into it. However, I’ll accept that life’s like that sometimes. And in the end, iTunes isn’t that bad. It’s especially good with podcasts and I’m now enjoying radio programmes I kept missing, as well as the musings of the likes of Gareth Jones On Speed and Stephen Fry’s Podgrams. I’m happy.
  10. I love touching it. Seriously. Just try it. Hold it in your hand. Rub it against your body. Bring it to your lips. You will, I assure you, have to have the thing prised from your clenched…. fingers. Be careful touching other people’s iPhones, however, because you really don’t know where it’s been.

So there you go. A bit of balance. Perhaps.

Advertisements

Sex, the iPhone, and Winning Traffic

In Uncategorized on February 9, 2008 at 5:53 pm

I was going to start this little piece about how there seem to be two hot topics that generate traffic to a website.

The I realised, there’s actually three hot topics.

But first, the original two.  This blog had been quietly pottering along and not really generating much interest until two features.

One was called “Selling Sex” and concerned a possible escort agency client.  The other was about the new iPhone update.  Thing is, although they generated spikes, the ongoing benefit in traffic has been significant.

Winning Traffic

I also added an RSS feed to the blog from our Interconnect IT site.

Then we published a WordPress User guide.

Traffic’s been much more significant since then.

But what are the three things that generate the most traffic?

  1. Anything about the latest hot gadget.
  2. Sex.  We’re really simple creatures. People are interested in sex.
  3. Articles about how to draw more traffic to your blog.

Anything else will just plod along, picking up scraps from obscure Google searches – especially on a rather techie biased blog such as this one.

Anybody else care to comment with other surefire traffic winners?

Selling Sex?

In iPhone, Web Design on January 7, 2008 at 3:15 pm

We’re in discussions with a client who wants a website for an escort agency. Immediately this brings up a lot of questions – we’re not dealing here with an engineering firm or accountancy with straightforward requirements.

Selling Sex

Thing is, in every case, where we design a website we have to delve into the minds of the likely visitors, what will be attractive to them, and how we can make sure the website performs. Often it’s straightforward – the client sells something we use in our day to day lives. If it’s an accountancy firm… well, we use accountants, we know what does and does not wind us up about them. We’re also doing sites for denture specialists and although we don’t need them, we can find people who do and ask them what they like.

But this is the sex industry and you can’t just go up to people in the street with a questionnaire and ask them lots of prying questions. You’re likely to offend, or even be on the end of aggressive behaviour. And none of us in the office have ever bought sex services – we’re pretty much the kind of people who only pay for things we can’t get for free…

And that’s just one problem. The next is to ask ourselves how closely we want to be involved in this industry. In effect, we’re selling sex. Ok, technically in the escort business you’re just selling ‘company’ but it doesn’t take long to realise that this isn’t really how it works. The girls exercise some choice, it seems, and if the guy sucks, she doesn’t, basically.

How Would People Access This Site?

Other factors include access to the site – we can assume that access from home pcs may not be popular – instead, should the site provide good support for mobile phones so that potential clients can find the site a little more, erm, discreetly? With the iPhone perhaps? If that’s the case then that means no Flash (regardless of the client’s taste for shiny doodahs), tight bandwidth control, easy touch navigation (fnar!) and so on.

If we get the dots dotted and the tees crossed on the contract, we’ll let you know how it went.